Fortunately, @TheWired oozes out of the walls of the Krusty Krab, where he is reunited with a fellow squid.
Unfortunately, that squid is out to kill him.
fortunately, he'd rather kill a certain "annoying" yellow sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea... so @TheWired is safe for now
unfortunately that yellow sponge is already dead.
fortunately, i'll keep reviving him as many times as possible just to spite you all
unfortunately you were caught ripping you blue rays and now "sony" is sueing the crap out of you for "damages" that don't really exist.
fortunately, sony later retracted those charges since they were founded on baseless accusations
unfortunately @TheWired continued his masochistic streak... punching the judge for making such a bad call.
(what is this Baseball?)
fortunately, @TheWired doesn't have to pay for food, insurance, housing, etc. inside prison
unfortunately, @sabre also punched the judge. for sending me to jail... after what i did for his daughter... wait... she was 16... and she... she is... oh fuck me.
fortunately, the judge happens to be me from the future and he knows just as much as i do that @TheWired needs to be sent to the electric chair after all the screwed up shit he's done in the past
unfortunately the electric chair shorted and they had to take me to that iron maiden.
fortunately, @TheWired later died within two minutes of being inside the iron maiden. let's all take a moment to remember him for both his shit and not-shit.
unfortunately i turned out to be a Vampire...
fortunately, i put garlic inside the iron maiden ahead of time and washed it all with holy water. also, we held the execution at the crack of dawn to avoid any trouble. in all cases, @TheWired is dead either way.
unfortunately @sabre was also a vampire and was required to attend that execution.
fortunately, @TheWired confused me with my twin brother who shortly died afterwards. i'll miss him.
unfortunately they had a blood pack that if one twin was killed the other would soon follow.
fortunately, i never agreed to uphold that blood pact
unfortunately it was magical and if you did not, well lest just say you face a fate much much worse than death.